In lieu of a present for Art’s bday, I opted for submitting an essay to the Men of Virtue Essay Contest instead. At his request, I’m posting what I submitted here. 
Facing our modern society as a woman attempting to live as the Proverbs 31 “Wife of Noble Character” is no easy task. To go against almost everything my generation stands for, stand on Biblical Principles, and ignore the backlash of my chosen lifestyle is far from simple and effortless. Life within my home, however, is magnificent. To live in a home where I am free to be who God created me to be is remarkably liberating and rewarding in a way that many women my age cannot, and sadly, may not ever relate to. The level of gratification I have in my life would not be at the level it is with such ease if it was not for the incredible husband God gave me just over ten years ago. We’ve endured some of the toughest things in life together, and have managed to grow closer through it all. Being married to a man of such virtue is such an honor and a privilege, and has taught me so much. I have learned what a man really is designed to be, and that chivalry isn’t dead, it just fell asleep for a while.
Ten years ago this December, Art and I celebrated our tenth anniversary together. In those ten years, I have gained so much perspective on marriage. About a year ago, we watched as two couples in our lives faced divorce. Having come from divorced families ourselves, we made it clear before our wedding day that we were going to make a conscious decision to simply not consider divorce as an option for us. We have been through so many trials in life that statistically shred marriage, endured peaks and valleys, adjusted to the “new normal” that our lives have become and clung desperately to God and each other through it all. We have faced Autism, not once, but twice in our children. We cried together countless times, and stumbled in our faith in moments of confusion and weakness. We’ve supported each other through deaths in the family and walked hand in hand into the battle of terminal illness in a parent. We have lost sight of each other in the midst of madness, and cried out to each other in a desperate attempt to reconnect. We’ve been through financial ruin, unemployment, family turmoil, and moments of what felt like hopelessness. We’ve been confused, depressed, deceived, and ultimately, brought to our knees together. It has never been easy, but it has always been worth it.
As we watched the marriages of our friends crumble, some completely, and some teetering on the verge of ruin, we found ourselves searching for wisdom. My husband was never shown what a godly man “looks like”, and I now see that as a blessing. He was an empty slate…a completely open heart who simply wanted to get it right by God’s standards. He stumbled, and on occasion, took his own path, but it was never for long. Moments of selfishness did not (and do not) last long. Watching him grow in the Lord is more than exciting or amazing…it’s inspiring. Over the years, he has not only shown me what a godly man looks like, but has begun to impart that wisdom on our son. His example is also influential on our two daughters as I am confident that they will never settle for a man who does not match up with their Daddy. God gave him an impeccable work ethic, the ability to work hours on end, a tender heart for his children, and a level of love and compassion for me that brings me to tears frequently. When I lay in bed at night, I find myself watching him sleep. I think of how he not only desperately needs that sleep, but so deserves that quiet peace. I pray over him every chance I get, and really savor the moments when he is unaware of my quiet moments with God, my hands resting on his, praying for those hands to be quick and efficient. He doesn’t realize that in the wee hours of the night, I place my hands atop his head and pray to God to bless his brain with quick thoughts and clear discernment. He doesn’t see the times I have laid in bed beside him in prayer, crying out of sheer gratitude for all he does for this family; for loving me; for serving as such a priceless leader for our home. He may never know that I find myself desperately searching for ways to encourage and bless him on a daily basis, out of a never ending urgency to support and uplift him. He cannot hear the prayers I say, simply asking God to protect what we have and lead us to what we are to become. He may not be able to hear my silent conversations with God, but I will do everything I can to make sure he knows that my relationship with him is completely led by our Heavenly Father and follow the Lord’s lead every day.
You see, I have the kind of husband that will work seven days in a row of no less than 12 hour days, and never complain. He’s the caliber of man that can fix almost anything, or will figure out how. He represents all that men have stood for until women lost sight of appreciating and encouraging them and their value. He’s a strong, focused, wise leader who guides this family with love, compassion, and gentle words. He’s firm when necessary, but never mean. The burden he must carry is incomprehensible to me, and yet, I rarely see the weight of it all wearing him down. He’s a classic example of what men are capable of being when they are supported and respected the way they should be, and yet has mastered the art of humility. My husband has an impeccable listening ear, and lips that utter careful advice and gentle correction. One definition for virtue is “manly excellence”, and I am not sure I could find a more appropriate way to describe him. He has every worldly reason to be tired, overwhelmed, grumpy, short-tempered, and frustrated, and somehow, he manages to harness the feelings of his flesh, fix his eyes on The Cross, and push forward as our leader and my covering.
Life has not been an easy road thus far. The world we live in is cruel. It takes a special man to navigate the maze of life, and manage to never lose sight of the four people he brings with him. I certainly see us as a team in our relationship, and see us as a couple that walks along-side one another. That said, I take such pleasure in taking an occasional step back, and watching him navigate. My hands never leave his back. My prayers never leave him lonely, and my heart is invested in all he does. There is such honor in what God called me to be, and I praise Him daily for blessing me with a man who is determined to pursue our mutual calling with such intensity. A fantastic, virtuous husband, who is not afraid of the challenges that face him, embraces the “stretching” and growth God puts in his path, and is so magnificently pleased with the simplest pleasures in life.
Facing our society as a traditional couple can be intimidating and harsh, but I will take it all on with the knowledge that God carries us in his arms no matter where life takes us, and what resistance we meet. I take great comfort in being led by God Almighty, and being guided by a man of great virtue who will undoubtedly open all the doors for me along the way.
